The story of my goddamn life


Posted by Eric on Friday, January 06th, 2012 in Rants

Over the holiday I stayed up til about 3am with my dad on Christmas Eve to finish a puzzle that was lying around about 25% done. We knocked the rest of it out in 4 or 5 hours. That might sound like a lot, but considering some of the piece shapes literally ranged from human hearts to moose heads, and the fact that it was the first puzzle I’d touched in over a decade, I’d say that’s pretty good.

Java Dreams
Exhibit A
A hungry-hungry-Humphrey stares at the ass of James Dean, devilishly holding the cord of a phone from Miss Monroe, being shameless checked out by Elvis.

The week following I started working on a puzzle my sister gave me in, like, 1999. It’s a glow-in-the-dark San Francisco skyline with an Earthrise in the back. Needless to say, it looks pretty badass when you cut the lights.

Shiny Planet Over San Francisco
Shiny Planet Over San Francisco
Exhibit B

This would turn into something special; a personal project that would receive my attention every so often - an hour here, a couple hours there. I would come to be excited, not only to work on the puzzle itself, but for the shear physical result of a finished project. It would be something of a triumph. I have been beating myself up for months now about how so many projects have gone unfinished in the Castle SpaghettiOh. I will not stand for another! I will garner the sense of accomplishment and strength of completion no matter how small the feat!

Border - done. Highway, bridge, and surrounding elements - done. Shore, skyline, and Earth - done. Two corners of a starry night remain! Top-right - done! Top-left - ...hadn’t touched it since Monday?! "This is bullshit! I’m not gonna let another project go unfinished!" I start cooking dinner and sneaking over to place the remaining pieces. I start eating dinner and keep sneaking over. A piece here, a piece there. I’m literally jumping from excitement and uttering moans of sexual gratification under my breath with every puzzle piece placed!

fuck you puzzle
Exhibit...Stupid

I hate you, puzzle. You have forever crushed my dreams, and my self esteem. Fuck you, you fucking tease.


Recent posts...

Skyrim: Day Seven


Posted by Eric on Friday, November 18th, 2011 in Gaming Life

This game... there is truly no way to describe the experience one could having playing it. The level of escapism and immersion is astounding. Admittedly, I have found myself to be more productive at work because I just want the time to pass so I can go home and play this fucking game.

The Skyrim Effect - I still jump from excitement whenever the word "Skyrim" is said by characters in the game.

After having them for a week, I have to say that the surround-sound headphones I bought are well worth the price tag. For someone like me, living in an apartment, a full surround-sound system is a no-go. I’d have people glued to my door all hours of the night telling me to turn the noise down. It must be a little creepy from an outside perspective, me sitting in complete silence, lit only by the glow of the TV I’m sitting four feet away from, with an occasional bark of awe, laughter, or frustration. So I leave the TV turned up loud enough for that to not be the case, but low enough that it doesn’t affect the exclusivity of the headphones. :P

Time in Skyrim as of this article:

37h:34m:13s


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SKYRIM: Day One


Posted by Eric on Friday, November 11th, 2011 in Gaming Life

Allow me to express my excitement for this game first by saying how much time I put into the previous Elder Scrolls installment — Oblivion: 157 unique hours (same character) — and then by presenting my splurge purchase, pictured below:


I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING. What?


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Fan mail for inspiration


Posted by Eric on Wednesday, August 03rd, 2011 in Art
Super Metroid

Every once in a while I get messages from YouTubers asking about Super Metroid Redux, an animation project I put a lot of time, heart, soul, and love into, and whether or not I’ve made any progress since ‘08. You’d think I’d pick it back up... Out of all the unfinished projects of mine (unfortunately there are quite a few, look at this place for example) this is the only one I look back on and shed a tear.

I wouldn’t normally put a personal message out for everyone to see, but this one struck a nerve. I’m putting this here so that I have no choice but to see it out in the open every time I come here. A constant reminder of something literally devoid of my love for more than two years, set boldly on the face of the site I visit quite often, regardless of how often I add content.


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Fox News’ imaginary Bulletstorm "controversy"


Posted by Eric on Monday, February 14th, 2011 in Gaming Life / Rants

Fox News published an article by some tool named John Brandon claiming Epic Games’ new release, Bulletstorm, is "the worst video game in the world." The article begins as an exploitation of sorts to some of the more "distasteful" aspects of the game, soon thereafter spiraling into a fantastic whirlwind of suck luring the reader’s attention toward some of the harsher challenges of the entire gaming industry.


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Excuse me... I have to Wii


Posted by Eric on Monday, November 29th, 2010 in Gaming Life / Rants

An article spun up over at IGN about Nintendo needing to up their game for the second generation Wii or Wii successor.

One question: Why?

Let’s get something straight real quick-like: The Xbox360 and PS3 are not direct competitors of the Wii. Nintendo is not in this game to compete, they’re here for entertainment. It just so happens that Nintendo’s knack for entertainment is making video games, and they do a pretty damned good job doing it. But to compete with something that’s not competing is like doing burnouts — the only one you’re impressing is you and your ego. Guarantee you, whether you like it or not, Nintendo will be the last game company standing. Let’s take a look at some numbers here...

Hmm.. let’s see...there’s the PS3 with 41.6 million consoles moved worldwide not far behind the 360 with 45.6 million units, and... what’s this? Oh! That’s the Wii stomping the absolute shit out of the numbers of the next-in-line. So, Nintendo, you need to step it up! Your sales are SUC-KING!


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Not to be confused.


Posted by Eric on Monday, November 22nd, 2010 in Art

Some people get their signs wrong...

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This is a Metroid game?


Posted by Eric on Wednesday, September 15th, 2010 in Gaming Life / Reviews
Metroid: Other M cover

When I wrote how I felt about Tecmo heading up the next title in the Metroid series, I had pretty low hopes for the developer responsible for more boobs than brains when it comes to video games. The team that brought us Ninja Gaiden and the Dead or Alive series (yes, including those spectacular Beach Volleyball games [/sarcasm]) takes a new stab at Metroid in three dimensions.

Other M is a cooperative development from select members of Nintendo and Team Ninja, along with some amazing CG work by D-Rockets (also responsible for many of Team Ninja’s cinematics). The game takes a much more story-focused approach to the Metroid franchise, attempting to "clear up" many elements of the legacy of the heroine Samus Aran. Until now, the only information we’d really had about our famed galactic bounty-huntress was bits and pieces of dialog from Fusion and the Prime series. Other than that, and whatever character development gathered subliminally from actually playing the games, previous titles either failed to mention anything relevant, or left it completely to the imagination. Either way, the character that stood before you could easily be placed in the dictionary under "badass," so you’d think that this game would follow suit. Instead, Other M does a fantastic job of taking the chiseled femme fatale molded from past entries in the series and making her softer than a cake with more emotions iced on top than a teenage prom date.


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Catfight


Posted by Eric on Saturday, August 28th, 2010 in Art

I’ve been really inspired lately to do small comic strips like this one. I’ve got a couple others in a sketchpad, but I like this one the most so far and thought I’d digitize it. This one is called "Catfight."


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Red Dead Redeemed for store credit


Posted by Eric on Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010 in Gaming Life / Reviews
Red Dead Redemption Xbox 360 cover

I’m honestly not sure what to talk about first with this title. I don’t anticipate this to be a very long review, mostly because I’m so far beyond frustrated with the game that I don’t even want to talk about it anymore. But this information needs to be heard, and this game is in desperate need of some real criticism. The fluffy scores dished out by the various review sites seem evident of publisher buy-in. I guess that works, "I pay you enough money to advertise the game, you’d better give it a damned good score!" Not in my books! You don’t pay my bills, so I can bash the shit out of this sorry-ass game!

OK, that might be taking it a bit far. I can’t make such a dubious claim without presenting some sort of reason for my scrutiny, right?

Red Dead Redemption takes place at the dawn of the Mexican Revolution, and your character, *says in a Western voice* Mister John Marston, is stuck in the midst of a civilization that can’t seem to make up their damned mind about anything. I felt there were some strong tie-ins to the political climate of today, which wouldn’t be atypical of Rockstar, but there just wasn’t enough for me to rant and rave about the story much more than that. A majority of the dialog takes place on horseback or riding a carriage, which blends already screaming voices with the constant patter of hooves and dirt. Sure, it helps set the mood of the game, but I’m not sitting right next to the fart who’s squeaking, and I had a hard time telling what the hell they were talking about. No, I won’t turn captions on, for the same reason I don’t text and drive. Duh.


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