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Roger Ebert

Roger Ebert, some famed and worshiped movie critic, recently rebutted a previous rebuttal he’d made years ago about video games, originally rebutting that they "could not be art." So then this other wildly unknown dood by the name of Clive Barker had something to say about that statement, rebutting that Ebert "thinks you can’t have art if there is that amount of malleability in the narrative."

Ebert was quick to revise and extend his remarks on his flawed video game statement, most likely to reduce the amount of hatemail he’s probably getting from angry video game nerds all over the universe and YouTube. "What I should have said is that games could not be high art, as I understand it." Great Job(!) clearing up that statement, guy! You’ve now left your haters with something to scratch their heads about before blasting you with spiteful emails; I mean, of course, pondering on what exactly Ebert’s version of "high" might be.

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Happy New Year you silly reader, you! My gift to everyone this year is my new website design (YAY!!!) - gander at it’s 16-Bit’d awesomeness as every plasma cell of fire burns itself into the retinas of your eyes while you watch a glorious 16-Bit D.C. sunset!!!1

Unfortunately, the blog’s received no love until now . I’ve been gone for a long time, and I’ve been quite busy. Work, play, the holidays, expansions of consciousness, Mario Kart Wii, Forza 3; they’ve all taken up quite a good portion of the last three months of the latest 365-day cycle that we all willingly, but always questionably, partake in. So in celebration I’ve prepared a small list of treats for you - a late stocking-stuffer if you will - full of cool things I’ve been finding on the internets!

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OMG I have wanted to write about this for so long!

OK, So... I’ve been taking antidepressants for the last 2½ years, and I must say that I’ve been much happier in the last 5 days of not taking them than I was for that entire length of time being a zombie in this play called Life. I keep a journal, notebook, whatever-the-hell you wanna call it; and in that notebook are countless pages of me yelling at myself to get off the drugs. I finally took my own words of advice.

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This article started as a comment on a friend’s blog, but I ended up typing what would appear in a tiny comment box as an entire article in and of itself. We all know what sensitive subjects these are, and this article, along with those linked herein, are sure to somewhat upset someone, somewhere, at sometime.

So the original article can be found here (The Binary Biker: Pseudo-Science and Religion). The article (in case you’re too lazy to read it) is basically about the birth of a skeptic through misleading information provided by the now-skeptic’s church-comic containing information attempting to prove falsity in the moon-landing. It’s a pretty good read except for the last paragraph, to which I retort with the following retortion and have thus retorted.

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Everybody and their mother knows I dislike sports games. And if you don’t, I’ll tell you now:

Sports games are usually those sloppy, redundant, boring piles of fail that publishers scrape from the bottom of their development queue...usually. That’s not to say I wouldn’t work for a studio that strictly develops sports games — with the exception of Tiburon of course — but I am saying that they must be the most overworked & underpaid game designers in the industry. Sports games are so overrated that most people who play them religiously are so blindly pumped about the game itself being released a whole year(!) after the previous one that they’ve been failing to see horrid workmanship for over twenty years.

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So I loaded up my dashboard today and widened my eyes as I quietly & internally got excited to see that I’ve got 3 whole spam comments to chuckle over!

OMG. OMG. OMG.

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I’ve been getting comments from coworkers about how picky I am when it comes to gaming. The truth is, I’m just a snob when it comes to my favorite hobby/passion/whatever you wanna call it. Sometimes, though, it’s just that I hate sh*tty games. Period.

I hate sports games. What in the bloody hell is the point in releasing an entirely new disc, every single year, most of the time including nothing different than an updated roster? Ever heard of DLC? Is there seriously so much changing in the game that one disc with a yearly $20, $30, even $40 downloadable upgrade or patch couldn’t cure? I doubt it. They still use cardboard cutouts for the audience; I mean, come on! The latest issue of Game Informer has shots from Madden 2010, another fantastic franchise by NFL bed-buddy, EA. I’m unfortunately unable to locate said cardboard cutouts due to the focal range of the real-time depth-of-field introduced. Sneaky bastards.

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Needless to say I’m totally full of suck when it comes to keeping this website up over the last couple months. I’ve been taking a sort-of vacation...from everything...and everyone. Most likely this will continue for another month or so as I’m rounding up some side-projects for a couple people and moving to a new flat. Not to mention I caught the second round of the damned workplace plague. I swear when I’m done this time I’m closing my door, and no one is allowed in without proper sterilization and an EMF test.

I’ve got a lot to say, so the rest of this article will probably just be a bunch of jumbled bull shit. If you’ve been following any of the articles I’ve written thus far or kept up with the things I generally talk about, everything should make sense.

First off, all I’m going to do is post this one image. One image should be the gavel for the case I’ve made. Ready?

Court is adjourned.

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Gameplay trailers have been released over the last couple weeks, and I was actually starting to appreciate what I saw. Keyword there is "starting". I figured if the regular levels looked this cool, maybe Sega could be forgiven with whatever the hell happens to Sonic at night. Here’s one of the better trailers, even with that horrible nonsense that looks like something out of a f***ing Joel Schumacher movie. I’m gonna go cry now...

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So I’ve been completely enthralled in Fallout 3 lately, and it’s managed to suck so much of my time that I haven’t updated this site in over a month. I’ve got about five drafts in the folder right now waiting to be touched up and published. You’re going to see articles inserted where they originally started being written.

First up is the review for Super Mario RPG. I finished the game back in September and started writing the review the next day. Damn video games! There’s too many good titles coming out this year! I can’t stop!

I’ll continue to update this post as I don’t plan to post anything after this until I have the reviews finished. I’m putting my foot down...

11/25/08: Review: Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars posted.

11/27/08 UPDATE: Midnight Zen: A Midnight Club: Los Angeles review posted.

12/2/08 UPDATE: Review: Dracula X - Nocturne in the Moonlight posted.