Red Dead Redeemed for store credit


Posted by Eric on Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010 in Gaming Life / Reviews
Red Dead Redemption Xbox 360 cover

I’m honestly not sure what to talk about first with this title. I don’t anticipate this to be a very long review, mostly because I’m so far beyond frustrated with the game that I don’t even want to talk about it anymore. But this information needs to be heard, and this game is in desperate need of some real criticism. The fluffy scores dished out by the various review sites seem evident of publisher buy-in. I guess that works, "I pay you enough money to advertise the game, you’d better give it a damned good score!" Not in my books! You don’t pay my bills, so I can bash the shit out of this sorry-ass game!

OK, that might be taking it a bit far. I can’t make such a dubious claim without presenting some sort of reason for my scrutiny, right?

Red Dead Redemption takes place at the dawn of the Mexican Revolution, and your character, *says in a Western voice* Mister John Marston, is stuck in the midst of a civilization that can’t seem to make up their damned mind about anything. I felt there were some strong tie-ins to the political climate of today, which wouldn’t be atypical of Rockstar, but there just wasn’t enough for me to rant and rave about the story much more than that. A majority of the dialog takes place on horseback or riding a carriage, which blends already screaming voices with the constant patter of hooves and dirt. Sure, it helps set the mood of the game, but I’m not sitting right next to the fart who’s squeaking, and I had a hard time telling what the hell they were talking about. No, I won’t turn captions on, for the same reason I don’t text and drive. Duh.


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A biased Fable II review


Posted by Eric on Saturday, September 12th, 2009 in Gaming Life / Reviews
Fable II cover

Yes, definitely biased; though, not biased in the way you might think. I, for one, will spill it straight up that I love this game as well as it’s predecessor on the original Xbox. I’m more than positive, however, that there is a plethora of people out there that absolutely loathe this franchise, and are keen to spouting off the creator, Peter Molyneux’s, name like they have beer with him every Friday. For some ungodly reason, they’ve had a horrible experience with either title, or have heard enough about someone else’s horrible experience to never want to play the game and take the stance of being the stubborn shit-head they are and not actually play it for themselves and declare independent thought.

I’m here, today, to be one of those people; a shit-head. You’re going to read a review on this game from a perspective of one that thinks less of Fable II than they might of their ex. For if one in favor of the title were to look past the charm, glamor, and tuxedo that is the game’s reputation by those that worship it, it’s actually quite easy to call the game out on its shortcomings. Because in all honesty, this game needs a lot of work.

Let’s talk about graphics! Those things that make up the reason the video game industry is still around, right? The glimmering shiny display of neatly organized polygons blended with a unique art style that, from things small to tall, look like they came straight out of a fairy-tale book. Take these concepts and mash them all together to form bland and generic templated houses, shops, towns, and wooded areas. What indeed looks absolutely amazing on paper (and it does... see concept artwork below) doesn’t end up looking all that stellar in a video game.


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XBOX360 FAIL


Posted by Eric on Saturday, September 27th, 2008 in Gaming Life / Rants

Received an interesting welcome when I tried to play GTAIV the other day; check this out:

XBOX360 FAIL!

Not only did my XBOX360 consult me about needing to put this XBOX360 game into an...XBOX360... I guess it also felt the need to tell me in every language known on Earth. I suppose it displays that way just in case my Region 1 XBOX360 happened to be in operation by a being not of this planet. It would probably feel a little more comfortable knowing that it might know at least ONE Earthly language in the list... Godspeed Third-Galactic-Intelligence!