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My mother blessed me with a magical grocery bag this past weekend. Its contents? A mint condition Nintendo 64. Accompanying it were of course the cables, an original gray controller with an analog stick still in great shape, Rumble Pak, Controller Pak (memory card), the console Memory Expansion Pak, and a plethora of games.

Sooo… the demo for Forza 3 came out yesterday. Have you played it yet? It really hasn’t been that long since Forza 2 didn’t leave my drive for months. Two years, really, at the most, and it definitely doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. What I’m getting at is that confusion ensued the excitement of the trailer for this game. I didn’t understand why they’d be releasing the next version so soon.

After doing some research, I’ve come to my own conclusion that it’s either A) a stab a making bank this Christmas season, or B) an attempt to steal some more Gran Turismo fans with yet another awesome racing sim before they have the chance to stick to their brand loyalty with Polyphony. Did I mention that Gran Turismo 5 hasn’t come out yet? Did I mention that it had been pushed back again to Spring 2010? Oh… well, Gran Turismo 5 hasn’t come out yet, and won’t until Spring 2010.

Yes, definitely biased; though, not biased in the way you might think. I, for one, will spill it straight up that I love this game as well as it’s predecessor on the original Xbox. I’m more than positive, however, that there is a plethora of people out there that absolutely loathe this franchise, and are keen to spouting off the creator, Peter Molyneux’s, name like they have beer with him every Friday. For some ungodly reason, they’ve had a horrible experience with either title, or have heard enough about someone else’s horrible experience to never want to play the game and take the stance of being the stubborn shit-head they are and not actually play it for themselves and declare independent thought.

I’m here, today, to be one of those people; a shit-head. You’re going to read a review on this game from a perspective of one that thinks less of Fable II than they might of their ex. For if one in favor of the title were to look past the charm, glamor, and tuxedo that is the game’s reputation by those that worship it, it’s actually quite easy to call the game out on its shortcomings. Because in all honesty, this game needs a lot of work.

Let’s talk about graphics! Those things that make up the reason the video game industry is still around, right? The glimmering shiny display of neatly organized polygons blended with a unique art style that, from things small to tall, look like they came straight out of a fairy-tale book. Take these concepts and mash them all together to form bland and generic templated houses, shops, towns, and wooded areas. What indeed looks absolutely amazing on paper (and it does… see concept artwork below) doesn’t end up looking all that stellar in a video game.

It’s no question that Sony has nearly isolated themselves in the video game industry. Rushing an overpriced console on an anticipative people with absolutely no software to make up for the complete lack of profit on the console was nothing short of a poor business move. The integrated Blu-ray made it a cheap and upgradable DVD player in comparison, but $599 for a new game console was a budget dent very few people braved.

Everybody and their mother knows I dislike sports games. And if you don’t, I’ll tell you now:

Sports games are usually those sloppy, redundant, boring piles of fail that publishers scrape from the bottom of their development queue…usually. That’s not to say I wouldn’t work for a studio that strictly develops sports games — with the exception of Tiburon of course — but I am saying that they must be the most overworked & underpaid game designers in the industry. Sports games are so overrated that most people who play them religiously are so blindly pumped about the game itself being released a whole year(!) after the previous one that they’ve been failing to see horrid workmanship for over twenty years.

I’ve been getting comments from coworkers about how picky I am when it comes to gaming. The truth is, I’m just a snob when it comes to my favorite hobby/passion/whatever you wanna call it. Sometimes, though, it’s just that I hate sh*tty games. Period.

I hate sports games. What in the bloody hell is the point in releasing an entirely new disc, every single year, most of the time including nothing different than an updated roster? Ever heard of DLC? Is there seriously so much changing in the game that one disc with a yearly $20, $30, even $40 downloadable upgrade or patch couldn’t cure? I doubt it. They still use cardboard cutouts for the audience; I mean, come on! The latest issue of Game Informer has shots from Madden 2010, another fantastic franchise by NFL bed-buddy, EA. I’m unfortunately unable to locate said cardboard cutouts due to the focal range of the real-time depth-of-field introduced. Sneaky bastards.

Nintendo announced a new Metroid game slated for 2010. From the looks of it, there seems to be a lot of Super Metroid gameplay elements; specifically around 1:27 – Mother Brain using the eye-laser on the super-metroid.

I dunno. I was excited as all hell when I was waiting for the video to load up for the first time. Overall, though, I just wasn’t all that thrilled. Call me old fashioned, but I’m just not all that thrilled about the studio making the next Metroid title being the developer best know in the game industry for…

OK, enough staring. Back to work… 🙁

The sequel to THE best racing game ever made was announced today; and with a sooner-than-later release date of October ’09. Forza Motorsport 3 called me up today at work to completely and utterly destroy my lunch with mere minutes of video-watching car-game porn. One can’t even help but chuckle at the fact that the miracle workers at Turn 10 will have released TWO Forza titles in the time it’s taken Polyphony to make ONE demo of Gran Turismo 5.

By any means, I’m no PlayStation hater. I don’t own a PS3, and I’ve gone out of my way to make sure I’ve made reviews for multi-platform games as unbiased as I can. Sony’s units had always been my console of choice until around the time Midnight Club 2 came out and Xbox LIVE hit it off. I’m not bashing them at all by saying they need to get their act together, but I’m sorry, the GT5 demo sucked ass. The same boring menu music, car lineup, and imaginary track selection has gotten old. Get a clue.

Observe…and require a change of underwearz as I did.

Source: ForzaMotorsport.net

The World War II genre of video games has become an extremely saturated market over the last couple years thanks to our friends over at Electronic Arts shitting out a new Medal of Honor title every six months. But it’s not just EA, really… check out this list. Of the 170+ games in that list, 135 of them were, or will be, released since 2000. This should give you a good idea of just how many games have cluttered such an interesting topic; one that might have people scratching their heads as to why anyone would even make a “game” about in the first place.

If you read the article I wrote on BIA:HH, you’d know that obviously I’m not all that thrilled on what’s happened in the industry to my favorite historical event. Not since the famed opening level in Medal of Honor: Frontlines, where you participate in a Saving Private Ryan-esque beach storming, has there been a WWII game as good as this. I say that with 100% sincerity, so you can go buy the game now.

I’ve never really been a fan of the Call of Duty titles; I always thought they were too stiff, boring, and inaccurate. That’s where this game helps the franchise take a turn for the better. As soon as the campaign starts up you’re pummeled with real archive footage of soldiers dodging bullets through trenches, seamen shooting Zeros out of the sky only to be kamikaze’d by another, and all the death, guts & glory that comes along with such an epic war. Hands down I knew right away this game was going to set some standards for the genre. The sheer fact alone that they used footage as graphic as what my eyes were just raped with meant that the developers at Treyarch were serious about this game.

I…am honestly not sure where to start this article. It simply amazes me that anyone could be shocked by this news. I mean, I could have never imagined feeling the effects of a world-wide recession in a bullet proof game industry!!!

Come on, seriously? OK everyone, let’s travel back in time a little bit to the good ol’ 80s. You guys ready?! HERE WE GO!!!