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Everybody and their mother knows I dislike sports games. And if you don’t, I’ll tell you now:

Sports games are usually those sloppy, redundant, boring piles of fail that publishers scrape from the bottom of their development queue…usually. That’s not to say I wouldn’t work for a studio that strictly develops sports games — with the exception of Tiburon of course — but I am saying that they must be the most overworked & underpaid game designers in the industry. Sports games are so overrated that most people who play them religiously are so blindly pumped about the game itself being released a whole year(!) after the previous one that they’ve been failing to see horrid workmanship for over twenty years.

So I loaded up my dashboard today and widened my eyes as I quietly & internally got excited to see that I’ve got 3 whole spam comments to chuckle over!

OMG. OMG. OMG.

I’ve been getting comments from coworkers about how picky I am when it comes to gaming. The truth is, I’m just a snob when it comes to my favorite hobby/passion/whatever you wanna call it. Sometimes, though, it’s just that I hate sh*tty games. Period.

I hate sports games. What in the bloody hell is the point in releasing an entirely new disc, every single year, most of the time including nothing different than an updated roster? Ever heard of DLC? Is there seriously so much changing in the game that one disc with a yearly $20, $30, even $40 downloadable upgrade or patch couldn’t cure? I doubt it. They still use cardboard cutouts for the audience; I mean, come on! The latest issue of Game Informer has shots from Madden 2010, another fantastic franchise by NFL bed-buddy, EA. I’m unfortunately unable to locate said cardboard cutouts due to the focal range of the real-time depth-of-field introduced. Sneaky bastards.

Needless to say I’m totally full of suck when it comes to keeping this website up over the last couple months. I’ve been taking a sort-of vacation…from everything…and everyone. Most likely this will continue for another month or so as I’m rounding up some side-projects for a couple people and moving to a new flat. Not to mention I caught the second round of the damned workplace plague. I swear when I’m done this time I’m closing my door, and no one is allowed in without proper sterilization and an EMF test.

I’ve got a lot to say, so the rest of this article will probably just be a bunch of jumbled bull shit. If you’ve been following any of the articles I’ve written thus far or kept up with the things I generally talk about, everything should make sense.

First off, all I’m going to do is post this one image. One image should be the gavel for the case I’ve made. Ready?

Court is adjourned.

Gameplay trailers have been released over the last couple weeks, and I was actually starting to appreciate what I saw. Keyword there is “starting”. I figured if the regular levels looked this cool, maybe Sega could be forgiven with whatever the hell happens to Sonic at night. Here’s one of the better trailers, even with that horrible nonsense that looks like something out of a f***ing Joel Schumacher movie. I’m gonna go cry now…

So I’ve been completely enthralled in Fallout 3 lately, and it’s managed to suck so much of my time that I haven’t updated this site in over a month. I’ve got about five drafts in the folder right now waiting to be touched up and published. You’re going to see articles inserted where they originally started being written.

First up is the review for Super Mario RPG. I finished the game back in September and started writing the review the next day. Damn video games! There’s too many good titles coming out this year! I can’t stop!

I’ll continue to update this post as I don’t plan to post anything after this until I have the reviews finished. I’m putting my foot down…

11/25/08: Review: Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars posted.

11/27/08 UPDATE: Midnight Zen: A Midnight Club: Los Angeles review posted.

12/2/08 UPDATE: Review: Dracula X – Nocturne in the Moonlight posted.

I’m not sure how first to put this game down. I have so much to say about it, yet so few hours into it. What’s not to like about this trailer?!

Received an interesting welcome when I tried to play GTAIV the other day; check this out:

Not only did my XBOX360 consult me about needing to put this XBOX360 game into an…XBOX360… I guess it also felt the need to tell me in every language known on Earth. I suppose it displays that way just in case my Region 1 XBOX360 happened to be in operation by a being not of this planet. It would probably feel a little more comfortable knowing that it might know at least ONE Earthly language in the list… Godspeed Third-Galactic-Intelligence!

It doesn’t really matter who you vote for because comedy is comedy. Both political parties have been faced with some tough on-the-spot questions and had some pretty irrelevant answers. If I were in their position, I would say something to the fact of, “To be honest, and I’m not gonna lie to you, but I’m not prepared to answer that question. 🙂 ” Politics is kinda like the S.A.T., ya know? Leaving a blank answer won’t necessary hurt your score, but answering incorrectly will. Anyway, check this out:

The draft for this proposal was posted on The New York Times’ website a couple days ago, and I have to say, this is one of my favorite articles of all time. The delegation of information in the draft is just amazing! I know where every cent of our 700 BILLION tax dollars are going after reading this article! Thank you NYTimes!