I called it – Sonic Unleashed released

Posted by SpaghettiOh on Sunday, December 07th, 2008 in Gaming Life /Rants

Gameplay trailers have been released over the last couple weeks, and I was actually starting to appreciate what I saw. Keyword there is “starting”. I figured if the regular levels looked this cool, maybe Sega could be forgiven with whatever the hell happens to Sonic at night. Here’s one of the better trailers, even with that horrible nonsense that looks like something out of a f***ing Joel Schumacher movie. I’m gonna go cry now…

The reviews have been posted. With far less than mediocre scores from most fronts, I’m honestly sorry for Sega. This game really did look somewhat promising; a disc whose sole purpose in life would be to revive one of the greatest and most memorable characters in video gaming history. How else to say this . . . ? Fail.

Here is my message to the corporate s***heads at our friendly neighborhood Sega division:

Dear Sega,

You’re famed franchise and sole mascot has been shat on for the last time. You hereby forfeit all rights to the once beloved blue rodent to a worthy developer. This studio shall consist of a 100% fan-driven staff containing at least one (1) developer from Sonic CD and/or Sonic the Hedgehog 3, capable of bringing love, great gameplay, fast paced action, a meaningless yet simple story, and, most of all, a cooperating and disciplined camera system to a weaponless Sonic the Hedgehog, and will bring forth a highly rated game that meets all expectations to become the best title in the franchise’s history.

Consider this a warning. You will comply to these commands. A faithful Sonic the Hedgehog game will come to it’s fans in a maximum time period of five (5) years, or Sega will be confiscated of it’s entire fan base, rendering all divisions, departments, and studios of Sega utterly useless.


Spaghetti Oh

See my preview article: All hope for Sonic has vanished as new Unleashed screenshots emerge – 8/21/08

You owe me 20 bucks…