The Super Mario 64 drinking game
I have been playing Super Mario 64 when I get the chance for the past week or so. In inspiration of the Skyirm drinking game I saw on Facebook a could weeks back, I have invented the Mario 64 drinking game. I just made it up. I tried to put as little effort into it as possible. Whenever you get a star you take a drink.
This video game is surprisingly easy. Beyond the sheer nostalgia of the whole thing, I find it quite intersting how challenging the game was when I first played it in 1997, struggling in the midst of 7th grade middle school post-puberty bull shit. The N64 was my hope for life outside of that. My digital drug.
Anyway, get a star, take a drink. I can say that one hour and 17 stars later I am pretty buzzed. But the thing is that the game isn’t that much more challenging. I have often found myself wide-eyed at the things I’m accomplishing on accident, like the moving platforms in the Vanish cap level. The sheer frequency of star collection is amazing. I remember spending hours at a time trying to even find the path to the switch that revealed a platform to some wall jumps and cannon shoot to a tree in the middle of the sky. I am breezing through this game like a company executive coffee-shit.
I have sat to play this game three whole times, and tonight I started with 32 stars. Here I am with 50 writing this article. Amazing. Oh yeah, amazing. Oh my god.
Jameson, neat, with a splash of coke is my drink of choice here. I take a sip when I hear the jingle and “HERE WE GOOOO!” Yes I would like to fucking save. Jesus, get on with it.
I dont even stop for air at that pocket in the tunnel in Dire Dire Docks. That’s how fucking crazy I am.