When I think about you I multitouch myself

Posted by SpaghettiOh on Thursday, May 15th, 2008 in Computers /Gaming Life

Who takes multimillion dollar hardware and software apps and says, “Hey, let’s make it so we can play video games on it!”? People like me do, that’s who. I think the more appropriate question here is, “Who takes multimillion dollar hardware and software apps capable making some of the most interactive video games on the market and applies Missile Command to them?”

Atari's Missile Command

Don’t get me wrong, Missle Command was a fun game. But allowing you to quickly touch anywhere on the screen, with multiple fingers and seemingly and obsurdly unlimited “missiles” is just cheating. A game like this could go on for hours. You can even hear the dood in the background saying “let it go and see if it will get overrun.” Part of the challenge of the game itself is slamming that little bastard cursor ball to move fast enough to shoot one missile with a button smaller than a dime at an incoming piece of shrapnel with apparently nuclear capabilities equal to that of WMDs. Somewhere along the line of incorporating that frustration and challenge into an interactive video game display came the idea of turning a classic Atari game into an nine foot screen-wall of psychedelic mess.

By the way, what’s up with the left guy? Maybe he feels like the guy on the right is doing better than him so he occasionally pops over to his side of the screen to get a few shots in? Bull. He’s the kind of player that makes it impossible to get anywhere in games like House of the Dead or Time Crisis because he won’t stay on his own damn side of the screen. I could play better with both guns in both hands, AND it’s more fun. Fail.

Some kid not abiding by the laws of cooperative play

Ok ok…I feel bad already. I’m not really this negative, I’m just showing off because I have a blog… I’m sorry. 🙁 I like the idea, please don’t hate me. The premise behind this app is cool though nonetheless; take a classic game, remove the gameplay mechanics that make it frustrating and replace them with user interactivity. Perhaps…something more intuitive, though? Like maybe Brain Age? I dunno… Maybe I’d feel different if they didn’t rape the gameplay mechanics.